Seriously

I often feel like one of those plate spinners from some cheap carnival or cheesy talent show.
I have so many things going on at once that I don't feel like I can do any of them with any real degree of excellence. So I rush about like a lunatic, smiling in a sequin encrusted outfit acting like I know what I'm doing, hoping that if I can fool you, then maybe I can fool myself - spinning these plates until I lose concentration and one falls and breaks... and while I'm crying about broken crockery another one falls, and then I am so overwhelmed that none of them are being maintained and I am surrounded by broken plates.

This week the boys are sick.
The bank account is empty.
Next week is the Samurai's specialist appointment.
My mind is full of dreams for future endeavour - so much so that it is making it difficult to focus on the things that I have in front of me to do.

My brain is such a busy (and unproductive!) place to live in sometimes.

Trying to remain positive and constructive I have been drawing and working on some commissions and I need to say - everyone should draw.
I don't think that it is very important to draw super well - I don't think that I am very skilled at recreating things exactly as I see them - but when you draw things you have to look very closely at them. Even more than you would if you were just taking a photo. You really observe how things are put together, how the pieces interact, textures, and light. Drawing teaches you how to see things.

So in all the chaos of my noisy mind, I am grateful for the time I have been able to enjoy just sitting down to stare at the delightful faces of lovely people, the glass wings of insects, the iridescence of beetle shells, and all the other things that fill up my eyes and try to make their way through my hands onto paper.
Even when my drawings are unsuccessful (which frustratingly, is most of the time) I enjoy just sitting and watching.

This is my note book where I scribble things and keep notes. Where I write down nice things that help me out even on days like today when I look like a reject from Nirvana in a plaid shirt and lank bleachy hair... (seriously grunge - am I showing my age? I'm not even old!!) The letters are from a Frankie magazine... I don't remember the name of the artist who designed the alphabet (boo Eleanor) so if anyone knows it - do share.